


Celtic Servants + Shenanigans

by annitrn



Category: Fate/Grand Order
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-26
Updated: 2019-02-26
Packaged: 2019-11-06 01:06:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17929847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annitrn/pseuds/annitrn
Summary: …aka how Chaldea got destroyed part.. uh, which number are we at now lol





	1. Celtic Servants + Jenga

**Author's Note:**

> …aka how Chaldea got destroyed part.. uh, which number are we at now lol

  * this was literally the first thing that came to my mind upon reading your request because the Celts are definitely a ‘Go-big-or-go-home-Squad’ and by no means would they play a normal version of Jenga



  * your first and at the same time last Jenga session went down in history as the great Jenga Tantrum because putting all the Celtic servants together in one room was a Bad Idea™
  * Cu Alter absolutely refused to play this game and strolled off with Mini Cu-chan hiding in his cloak, leaving his other versions with no choice but to join when their teacher glared them down the deepest layers of hell when they wanted to refuse at first
  * of course that wasn’t the only obstacle because Medb was trying to conquer Cu again, being equally delighted and out of control upon seeing several versions of him. Meanwhile you could see double indifference on the elder Cu’s faces while their younger version went pale upon seeing the Queen run after him, poor pup
  * but after playing for only 5 minutes you weren’t so sure if Medb was after his heart or head..or both, because her mood switched every 5 minutes while Fergus tried to get said Queen on his lap and pat Cu on his back at the same time
  * Fionn being Fionn more or less hit on Scathach with awful pick-up lines that only made poor Dia cringe in secondhand-embarrassment and apologize to Scathach behind his Lord’s back though the Witch of Dun Scaith didn’t care much anyways as she was busy kicking her students asses
  * _focus guys_
  * naturally, the Cu’s tried to outsmart each other with Proto Cu coming to the decision that things need to spice up a little and started yelling ‘Earthquake’ at random times to shock his other selves and threw over the tower at least 5 times, earning himself loud cheers by Medb, and 3 spears up his butt by his annoyed teacher 
  * Caster Cu retaliated by using his magic so Proto Cu actually becomes a dog for a limited amount of time, you had to use a command spell to force him to redo this because the Proto Puppy started biting everyone and Scathach slowly but steadily went from I’m-too-old-for-this-shit to I-will-commit-homicide-in-3-seconds
  * this went on until at first, only Jenga blocks were thrown at each other but quickly escalated to spears and heavy insults getting thrown at each other until even good old reliable Diarmuid loses his cool and wrecks everyone much to their shock
  * Diarmuid and you agreed to dispose of the game secretly and burnt it after everyone had gone to sleep, sighing in relief when the wooden blocks went up in flames 
  * you were so relieved - that is, until Fergus brought forth a game of Mario Kart next day…rip your soul (and command seals)
  * _…to be continued (?)_




	2. Celtic servants + Mario Kart

  * ahhhh the game that ends all friendships and makes blood brothers turn against each other… what could possibly go wrong when people who are profoundly different from each other and with superpowers play this game ‘’for the whole family’’? 
  * y e a h, you guessed it right: literally everything. No muss, no fuss and not a single cuss? Not even in 1000 years
  * basically how the game goes for them



  * only that at the end one of them is dead, the tv is broken and burning, and you’ve lost a vast number of Command Spells along with your best years


  * there may have been a few times where Dia saw a blue shell approaching Fionn and deliberately let it hit him so Fionn could win. Of course Dia would deny it to the ends of the world if his Lord asks him - he is just too kind when it comes to Fionn, but competitive as shit when it comes to proving himself against others
  * Medb doesn’t even try to be first, she just wants to be Peach because she’s cute and dressed in pink like her but the one time she actually tried to win so Cu would notice her, she only realized after 10 minutes that she was looking at the wrong screen and actually was bumping into walls the whole time
  * not that Fergus is much better, because his eyes are mostly on Medb and his beer the whole time but when he focuses on the game he usually stays back to protect Medb from blue shells and somehow magically always bumps into banana peels 
  * as expected, Cu and Diarmuid’s irl E-luck also strikes them when they’re playing because somehow they always start out being first and second place and right before they reach the finish line a blue shell that’s defying every law of physics hits them and they end up being last place
  * my oh my, both of them get their mouths washed with soap and holy water by an exceedingly annoyed Shisou because of their quite… colorful way of expressing their anger. Even more because the younger Cu and his Caster version seem to be way luckier and always manage to win
  * Scathach doesn’t care about the game, though she’s surprisingly really good at it, but the constant bickering of her students - and that thrice - bring her close to the point of suicide. Or homicide. She hasn’t decided yet
  * O h, and  _rainbow road_. Haha. The road that was designed by Lucifer himself and made the strongest, toughest men cry. You can bet that some of the guys  _actually_ started crying when they used to be first place and fell off rainbow road twenty times in a row while Shisou pushes past them like a pro
  * one thing led to another and suddenly Cu threw his controller away in frustration, accidentally hitting Shisou in the eye who started fuming and Gae Bolg’ed everyone that didn’t manage to run away fast enough and well.. you spent that night watching your new workplace go up in flames. Again
  * aaaand just like last time, the WiiU and game vanish under mysterious circumstances over night and another board gets hanged under the ‘Jenga forbidden’ board:  **ABSOLUTELY no Mario Kart in Chaldea**




End file.
